askSG👍 1
No, I'm really curious what's going on because it's almost like a weekly occurrence / twice a week situation in the past 2 months. Regardless of Line colour or operator. Is the maintenance standard getting worse or are the train systems being overworked beyond their design specs etc?
teenagers👍😲 4
long rant but there's always this impression that youngsters are the woke ones, the progressive ones, but that simply is an illusion, because there are more conservatives (especially men) hiding amongst us than we think. the ring-wing wave may just seem like some foreign western bullshit, as seen most recently in the british protests, but it is increasingly clear that the right-wing wave has been affecting Singaporean men too. the internet has always been a pipeline for far right extremism, but i think only in recent times have i realised just how much this has permeated into real life and men i actually know. after the death of charlie kirk (which may be wrong but he himself supported his death soooo), the past week has shown clearly that more conservative men are hiding amongst us than we know. they repost stories of charlie kirk saying that "we shouldn't die just because of a differing opinion (on human rights???????)" while having never posted about any other social cause (and please, we all know that while you may claim to "disagree" with his opinions, you clearly do support his rhetoric). the selective empathy these men have towards exclusively male facist influencers is clear as day. these men may not outright support trump, however this doesn't mean they do not buy into the exact same dangerous rhetoric against marginalised groups -- ironically so, as the very male influencers they follow are white supremacists. and to all the chinese supporters of charlie kirk, he literally said chink like????? and they know it's wrong, that's the problem, they know how to act. the performative male stereotype isn't just annoyingly funny, it's inherently dangerous for women. men will put a face of appearing to agree with your "opinions" on basic human rights just to turn around and expect you to be a submissive housewife. men will go around being a matcha drinking addict reading feminist literature just to go support the same facist rhetoric. conservative men love to go after liberal women because they seek to "change" her, seek to mould her into the perfect little housewife. so, why do these men buy into right-wing rhetoric? because the internet simply has so many right wing pipelines, one of them being fitness. to extend some sympathy and to put less blame on these impressionable boys, let's just say that most fitness influencers inherently target young, especially insecure impressionable teens because they simply use social media more. these influencers sprinkle seemingly innocent and innocuous messaging on their content, but quickly spiral into far right rhetoric, that a man has to be strong and anything other than that, like being a liberal or gay, is not just wrong, but a threat to their own masculinity. once they fall into this pipeline, these young men just fall further and further down the rabbit hole and start learning to be racist, sexist, homophobic. young men are constantly targetted and influenced to become right-wing, and honestly it is sad to see those you once grew up in fall into this alt-right pipeline. (but also like men face the tiniest taste of the exclusion and rejection that the rest of us have experienced for generations and suddenly they can't tolerate it like give me a break bro) then comes the problem, how do we get these young impressionable men out of this right wing sphere? you can try to debate with them and make them change their opinion, but this just reinforces the idea that they are being targeted and repressed by society and they fall further into the alt-right pipeline. how can we change their mindset when they're so far down the pipeline they can't even see their own hypocrisy?
do correct me if i’m wrong, but i think i’m dating a man child, and it’s making me extremely frustrated. context: im in a 2 year long rls with my boyfriend, we are both 18. He avoids taking responsibility for simple tasks. For example, if we’re supposed to eat at a restaurant, I’ll ask him to make a reservation, but he’ll say in a joking tone, “can you do it instead? I don’t know how.” Same thing when he forgot his password for something. I told him to reset it, and he replied “I don’t know how.” It makes me wonder: is he really that clueless, or just too lazy to learn? He also struggles with basic independence. Ordering food online, fixing small things, even opening packaging. he tells me he “can’t” do it. I asked him once what he’d do if a lightbulb burst in our future home, and his answer was: “I’ll call you to fix it, or an electrician.” For me, I’d obviously figure it out myself or at least look up a tutorial on yt. On top of that, his hygiene and living space are to me HORRIBLE. His room is dirty, clothes are all over the floor, and he wears the same tattered clothes for years, not because he can’t afford new ones, but because he doesn’t see the point. He eats on his bed and leaves empty boxes there, his bathroom is unclean (pee on the seat, toothbrush left on the basin), and he only changes his towel every two weeks (please tell me if this is normal). When I ask him to clean up, he says I’m “dictating his life” and doesn’t think it’s a problem. He’s also very childlike in behavior. He whines when he can’t do something, is overly reliant on me, and doesn’t dress up for date nights. He goes on dates in old shirts, saggy shorts, and crocs. I take care of my appearance, so it feels like there’s no effort from his side. Lastly, he curses and swears a lot while gaming. I’ve given up arguing with him about it, but when we play with friends, his “joking insults” make them not want to play with him anymore. But by extension, not with me either. It frustrates me because I see games as fun, win or lose, but he gets so caught up in criticizing others. I grew up with a dad who was self-reliant and always figured things out himself. That’s the kind of role model I admire and would want for my kids. Which makes me wonder:do I really want to marry someone like this? Or am I overreacting and just have different values than him? Also do you think NS can fix this? The more he acts like this the more I’m given the ick, and it’s really starting to get to me.
After my last relationship, I prayed for a gentle soul, and I got her. She has a great career working at finance, sweet and kind. After work, she is either swimming, gardening or reading a book. She is also madly in love with me - but is it bad that I... kinda understand why? I plan all our dates. When she wants to travel, I pay for everything - flights, accommodations, plan itineraries. When she has challenges at work, we fire up her excel models on the monitor and we work through stuff together. She regular leans on me for advice on doing better at her job. When she has worries about finances, I work out numbers with her to assure her. She also has a broken family, and I regularly tell her how my parents would accept her with open arms once we marry On the flip side, I have this feeling of wanting more, but not getting it. I'm a very adventurous person who has lots of hobbies. I've tried many times gently nudging her to pick up a sport that we can do together, even offered to pay - but she always feels like I'm pressuring her. So I've stopped raising it. I've also hinted that I want more quality time and meaningful dates, and if I do plan them we do get them. But when I don't plan anything, our dates end up being... ordering takeout and eating it at her place. For my birthday, she got stressed because she couldn't think of what to buy, so I helped her by not getting new glasses so that she could get them for me. It's been 3 weeks, she still has not initiated a date to get them together. TL;DR - she is unproblematic, we rarely ever fight. She respects me. But she is so passively low maintenance that I don't feel connected, share interests etc. at all. I'm tired of asking for more, but on the flip side, I also feel horribly guilty. If she's great at everything else - why can't I just love her for who she is, instead of trying to change her into someone she's not?
32M here, back into the dating scene recently and have been trying out apps. I can’t help but noticed that there are a lot of profiles having this statement along the lines of “looking for provider mindset man. Provider man are charming etc. In fact i have matches that straight up ask if i drive and based their decision on that. I respect their preferences, but i am just curious if that’s the norm now? Just to be clear- i am doing okay financially - have a good job and can take care of myself. I also always pay for the first date. I do agree that provider man is attractive, and no doubt i would give my best to my other half next time (when i find her) But when first thing they ask is if you drive, it feels really transactional.
askSG👍 5
Lots of the songs I like are quite sad and I don't like how it brings the mood down when others are singing happy, dancey songs. Do you think it's weird to go karaoke solo? Have you gone karaoke solo? What was your experience?
askSG👍 5
For those of you already in your 30s or 40s, what advice would you give to your younger self in this age range (25–30)?
relationships👍❤️ 5
Hi everyone, I’m curious about long-term relationships that started young. If you dated your partner since secondary school, polytechnic, JC, or university, where’s your relationship now? Are you still together and happy? Did you break up along the way? Struggling to maintain? Was there cheating involved? Or are you thriving after all these years? Would love to hear your experiences, both the good and the bad.
askSG👍 5
i was taking a photograph of a shop, and this auntie ran up to me to ask to check if she was inside the photo. I assured her she wasn't and showed her the photo. her reason: she was on her morning walk and without any makeup. it got me wondering, under what circumstance would you delete a photo just on request, especially if you can't capture another one of the same scene/scenery? anyone else ever encountered?
askSG🤗❤️😆 4
So my mum chanced upon this MLM company called "Summit International Lily Singapore" and bought a heating mattress (thin ass mat in my opinion) for SGD 5.7K and 3 pieces of shapewear (literal taobao stuff) for 2k. They apparently sweet talk my naive ass mum into buying those items, saying that the mattress will heal all sorts of illnesses and the shapewear will slim them down without working out like wtf is this bullshit HAHA like i rather she use the money for 4D/Toto or even the casinos. I’ve tried my best to convince her not to buy the items as they are SCAMS!! i even showed her proofs and those reviews posted but she still went ahead with her purchases...she even said oh those reviews posted are fake...and that she will check with the sales rep?!! like omg...she’s only in her 50s😭😭😭...why is she js so naive and falling for these scams...even my grandma has way more common sense than her.
teenagers👍❤️🤗 3
For context, im in jc1 and i have liked this girl from my class (lets call her D) since the start of the year (really, even during her self introduction during class bonding, i found her attractive) And its not js about her looks - her energy, her humour, her interests just seem to exactly match mine. AND BY SOME MIRACLE, we managed to end up as DESKMATES. Anyways for the first few months, we just talked like a normal friend, about studies and sometimes interests etc. I didnt really dare to make my move, cus what if she rejects me? it would be really, really awkward for the next 2 years, and i really dont want to lose her as a friend since we have so much in common But the more we talk, the more i realise we both have so much in common: K-pop, baking and hate towards our GP teacher (story for another time). So fast forward a few months to just last week, I finally decided to shoot my shot - im done hiding, now im confessing, like im born to be 🤪 And there i go, sent a risky text on whatsapp after school one day: Hey D, i know this is going to sound very weird, but i think im falling in love with you - we have so much in common, and i enjoyed every interaction i had with you. If you wish, we can level up our relationship, and if not, i hope we can still be good friends 🙏 Annnnnnd i closed my phone, with heart racing at minimum 160 bpm, checking notifications every 2 minutes. finally, after waiting for 34 WHOLE MINUTES, i got a text back: a yes!!!! No words could describe my emotion back then - first relief, then unimaginable happiness I guess next week will be our first official week as a couple 😁😁😁😁😁😁 and it just all feel so unreal even right now so thats why im sharing it here before ill see her again tmr!!! So moral of the story? Be brave, go for it guys!!! You never know if you dont try 🙃🙃🙃
teenagers😆👍😲 4
When I was younger I was so pissed off w my parents snooping into my room and my privacy so I did a life pro tip. Basically I purposely left my door unlocked and went bare and starting rubbing one out and I timed it so that my mom will walk in on me. She did walk in on me. Then I made sure when relatives and her friends are around to casually tell them that my mom walked in on me. The trick is to make sure she’s more embarrassed than I am. Idc at all becos she’ll be more embarrassed to her friends than me. Lol, never again she barged into my room without knocking.
askSG👍 4
Understand that it varies for everyone and depending on where you work. But just curious generally how much do people spend on lunch on normal work day (esp in CBD). I used to work in non CBD area for almost 10 years and can easily have decent meal below 5 dollars, maybe with drink at most 7-8 dollars (we do spend more if there is occassion but not often + mostly bosses will pay for it). Recently moved to company in CBD, and noticed that the people here spend like 15-20 ish bucks for meal almost daily. There are not a lot of alternative for cheap meal but I am still trying to keep my lunch at 5-10 dollars. So end up always try to avoid team lunch. Not sure if I am the one being stingy, but I can’t get the idea of spending so much for a quick weekday lunch with colleagues. Wouldn’t mind spending 3-4 times that budget for proper meal with my partners and friends definitely. So just curious am i the abnormal one, should i adjust my budget so I can socialize more? I meant idm scrolling phone, reading reddit during lunch (honestly i feel more rested this way than trying to socialize with people i am not close with tho they are nice people generally), but just worry that i would be deem as antisocial and affect my career progression overall.
askSG👍 4
I'll go first. When I used to work in a bank call centre, a credit line product was targeted more towards customers who had a history of paying credit card bills late but would ultimately pay their bills. I guess the intent was to collect more interest from such customers as they would have a higher likelihood of tardy payments.
askSG👍😲 4
I don’t know if it’s just me, but Singapore doesn’t feel like home anymore. Back then, I felt a sense of belonging. But now… I feel completely disconnected. Everywhere is so crowded, the weather feels unbearable, and I can’t shake the resentment that so many people here aren’t even Singaporeans. A lot are just using Singapore as a stepping stone to make money, and it feels like we’ve lost something in the process. The trains are packed, the cost of living has gone up, and honestly, it feels like locals are the ones paying the price. Jobs don’t pay well, the grind is endless, and even the fun/art scenes are slowly dying because they’re unsustainable here. (The projector) The recent National Day Rally didn’t help either. If anything, it made me feel worse. It just felt like numbers to the government, not real people living and struggling here. It makes me tired. It makes me want to leave. I feel like I’ve lost hope for this country, and it’s painful to admit because this used to be home. Am I just seeing things in a negative light?
askSG👍😆😲 4
I’m being 100% serious here, I know we all joke about how fked up the weather is. But from the bottom of my heart, I genuinely feel that I cannot enjoy my self in this country solely due to the weather. I literally can’t step outside without breaking out in sweat, drenching my clothes. I can’t enjoy nature walks, can’t run errands , can’t Exercise outside, etc… I love this country, I love the infrastructure , I love that food and transport is affordable, I love the low tax rate, among many other things. It’s easy to focus on the flaws, but Compared to all other major cities, Singapore is the closest thing you can get to a utopia. But the FUCKING WEATHER man….. it’s seriously making me question my long term plans in this country. I had a friend recently come back from a trip to the Middle East where the temperature was 45 degrees, 45 DEGREES CELCIUS, and they said SINGAPORE FELT WORSE DUE TO THE HUMIDITY 💀💀 SINGAPORE WEATHER LITERALY FEELS WORSE THAN A 45 DEGREE DESERT
teenagers👍😢❤️ 5
i know most people will be judging me for this and accusing me of being dramatic, but i literally only have my school to blame for how my life is rn. i was always the cheeriest person in the friend group, the girl people thought was always happy, and ig that was true at the time. but i went into a certain ib jc this year and it feels like my life has gone from heaven to hell. no one around me is pleasant to be around and it really really sucks. im not even kidding when i say that my classmates (and schoolmates for that matter) are the most entitled, spoilt brats ive ever interacted with. i was working on a pair group coursework with this girl, lets call her R. she refused to do any work or schedule any online meetings with me, and when i told her id not give her credit for the work if she freeloaded, she told me 'im rich enough to make you stfu'. thats actually crazy coming from a student???? i obviously ended up having to do the work all on my own and guess what, the teacher didnt bat an eye during the presentation when she wasnt able to present the slides properly and gave her the same grade as me. did some research, turns out she has an uncle AND had a grandfather in the school's board, so the teachers dont dare to offend her whole family! another time when we were going out for class outing on a short day, everyone wanted to go to sentosa so we had to figure out how to get there first. before we met up, i sent a screenshot of the route by bus+mrt in the class chat, no one said anything but a few people reacted with the 😂 emoji. i was like ??? then i texted a smaller gc with like 5 ish girls from the class im closer to, asking why everyone was silent. they literally told me that public transport is for the poor and that its 'giving mid-tier jc energy to take mrt'. WTF??? i was so shocked i didnt know how to reply. obv someone ended up booking 3 7-seaters on grab for $45 each which i literally didnt want to but had no choice. the students here are actually INSANE, the secondhand embarrassment i get from my classmates and even my friends makes me not wanna go to school anymore. if i can i dont even want to put my ib diploma on my cv once i get into uni.
teenagers👍 3
For context, im currently studying in poly while my bf is in a top jc in singapore (hes taking a lvl this year) We met each other in secondary school and hes prob one of the smartest in the school Recently, we were texting late at night and talking about our future. He told me that he wants to go overseas to study after As, aiming for top schools like oxbridge. But then i have no chance to go overseas with him to study 😭😭 so i tried to convince him to stay in singapore so we can at least see each other or this relationship is not gonna work out 🥲🥲 i tried to tell him how nus/ntu is not any worse than the overseas uni but he wouldnt listen ☹️ then we got into an argument of him saying how im costing him his future smth like that we havent spoken for a day and i rlly want to know AITA for asking him to stay in sg?? or is he overreacting to ts ☹️☹️ how can i talk to him again and hopefully convince him to stay in sg so we can continue this relationship? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE help a girlie out i rlly want him to be with me 😭😭 theres no way we can continue this relationship when we are in different countries and in different time zones some more 🥲
teenagers👍😆 2
IT'S SO OVER I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FROM APPLYING HP THERE... Well, shortlists should be over by now. THIS IS JUST ME BEING NEEDLESSLY DRAMATIC AND EMOTIONAL 😭 😭 😭 Apologies for the second emo post LOL. The title is slightly misleading because I hallucinated the whole process probably ☠️ ☠️ I knew I was already being delusional about the other jcs I had applied for (and have been ghosted or rejected without interview), but to be honest, I actually had a lot of hope for jp 😭. After my interviews at ny, asr and tj respectively, it had made me emboldened I would get a new interview to prepare for. Probably a bit too egoistical but I say with honesty now that I don't expect much good news in the days to come. Of course I know my academics were lacking so I tried to make up for it in the other things I submitted but the rest was history... I'm so embarrassed to say that I actually started thinking of CCAs and how I would want to continue band in jpjc and try to impress (using this term loosely) people with my work-in-progress vibrato on my flute ☠️☠️. I'll get over it eventually. My coping mechanism is history. I spend most of my days reading about history. I spend my recesses excited over reading or writing something history-related. Whenever I have a bad day at school, I just think of recess where I'll get to work on my next history post. When I go to sleep, I think of the next topic I should cover ☠️ ☠️.
teenagers😲👍😡 5
so i went to pinkdot with my bf and some friends yesterday, and ofc we all wore pink for the occasion but i guess it made us standout we got a couple of judgy looks from people on public transport here and there which i could deal with but there was one lady who, im assuming is a christian conservative, walk up to us an suddenly quote some bible verse and curse us out in what im assuming was some dialect but i wasnt sure which one, then she just..left. when we left to go home on our own ways i also got stopped by one of those people who walk up to you at the mrt to advertise shit except this guy was promoting christianity and was following me even while i was ignoring him, he kept on asking if i went to pinkdot and that i should repent, which annoyed the fuck out of me