do correct me if i’m wrong, but i think i’m dating a man child, and it’s making me extremely frustrated.
context: im in a 2 year long rls with my boyfriend, we are both 18.
He avoids taking responsibility for simple tasks. For example, if we’re supposed to eat at a restaurant, I’ll ask him to make a reservation, but he’ll say in a joking tone, “can you do it instead? I don’t know how.” Same thing when he forgot his password for something. I told him to reset it, and he replied “I don’t know how.” It makes me wonder: is he really that clueless, or just too lazy to learn?
He also struggles with basic independence. Ordering food online, fixing small things, even opening packaging. he tells me he “can’t” do it. I asked him once what he’d do if a lightbulb burst in our future home, and his answer was: “I’ll call you to fix it, or an electrician.” For me, I’d obviously figure it out myself or at least look up a tutorial on yt.
On top of that, his hygiene and living space are to me HORRIBLE. His room is dirty, clothes are all over the floor, and he wears the same tattered clothes for years, not because he can’t afford new ones, but because he doesn’t see the point. He eats on his bed and leaves empty boxes there, his bathroom is unclean (pee on the seat, toothbrush left on the basin), and he only changes his towel every two weeks (please tell me if this is normal). When I ask him to clean up, he says I’m “dictating his life” and doesn’t think it’s a problem.
He’s also very childlike in behavior. He whines when he can’t do something, is overly reliant on me, and doesn’t dress up for date nights. He goes on dates in old shirts, saggy shorts, and crocs. I take care of my appearance, so it feels like there’s no effort from his side.
Lastly, he curses and swears a lot while gaming. I’ve given up arguing with him about it, but when we play with friends, his “joking insults” make them not want to play with him anymore. But by extension, not with me either. It frustrates me because I see games as fun, win or lose, but he gets so caught up in criticizing others.
I grew up with a dad who was self-reliant and always figured things out himself. That’s the kind of role model I admire and would want for my kids. Which makes me wonder:do I really want to marry someone like this? Or am I overreacting and just have different values than him?
Also do you think NS can fix this? The more he acts like this the more I’m given the ick, and it’s really starting to get to me.