My bf told me to eat more, & when I did, he left me.

I'm crying as I write this and have been throwing up non stop for the entire day. I have literally got to be the most disgusting and worthless person on earth. Im Sec 4 and had my first relationship this year. My ex was literally my crush for almost the entire 4 years and we were in the talking phase for nearly 2 years before we became official js this year (really long ik). Since young, my mom never failed to call me fat and ugly and worthless. When I think back at it, i just know this is what escalated my ED. I don't want to sound pathetic but I can't control it. It was a really painful period of time. During the talking phase, he made me feel good about myself. He checked up on me during recess to make sure I ate and was super considerate. For reference, early last year I was 170cm and ~40kg. Like an idiot, I really thought I was worth something, that he loved me, and felt motivated to eat at least 2 meals a day. He looked genuinely happy when I put on some weight and I felt so much better in my own skin. After becoming official in February, I can confidently say that it was a healthy and loving relationship. He'd buy me flowers, call me for 2 hours before sleeping, find me during every break. In June, I noticed some changes in his behaviour. He stopped initiating outings, stopped reminding me to eat, like he was drifting away. I put in more effort into the relationship and convinced myself it was because he was mugging for O lvls. Yesterday, we were going home together before he dropped the bombshell on me...he said he wanted to break up. Of course I was immediately taken aback and asked him why. He said, AND I QUOTE, "Your not like attractive to me anymore." I was crying at that point and coughed up why again. With a straight face, he told me I was too fat. I wish I was joking. My world literally crumbled. Just this week, he was singing the 67 song with his guy friends. Certainly not a person that was going to break up with his partner just 2 days after. I haven't left my room at all since then and only drank milk when my stomach couldn't handle the pain anymore. Nothing could compare to the pain in my heart though. I think I cried out all the liquid in me. I want to know, will he love me again if I lose weight? I'm currently 62kg (measured yesterday) .. Am I that fat? There's so many questions left unanswered in my head and I just don't know what to do anymore. I probably sound so stupid and everyone's gonna hate me even more like why am I even ranting to randoms on reddit.. Please, how do I stop hurting?